summer

and he says: I'm sorry I'm an asshole.
and she says: I'm sorry I don't believe you.

In other news:

i always find myself dreaming more approaching summer.
not those big dreams that just end up disappointing, or maybe they're all the same.
mostly, i tell myself: this is the year that i do what i want to be.
and it's always lies, lies, lies.




interlude:

only 4 you
a poem by Emily Ann Allen

My whole life it seemed I would only have friends,
I thought I might end up a nun in the end.
I even read a book called "And the Bride Wore White"
and I swore to try and lead a pure life.
I prayed to God that if for me love was his plan,
that I would not go through many but instead find that one and only man.
I have faith that's what he has done,
I believe you truely are the only one.
Even though we met only 2 months ago, February?
It seemed like we knew each other already.
Anything we've done, I'm glad we did it,
and I can't wait for what might be to come, wouldn't want to miss it!!!
And because I love you so much,
I want my heart and body to only ever be yours to touch.



two months seems to have been a pretty serious amount of time back in the day.

at the end, she informed me that (I don't think I am going to read these to him), which reminded me that she did used to read her "ryan poems" to him. he had no idea what he signed up for.

there must have been hundreds of poems about him, literally.





it rains and rains and weighs branches of trees down.
i feel heavy too, little guys.
if this keeps up, we just might snap right off.




by the way, what happened to me actually trying to write? i picked up a pen today, wrote a couple of crappy sentences, then gave up.
and i've turned this little thing into an homage to my teenage blogs, where i previously bitched and bitched, and now i'm just continuing to bitch.




maybe that'll be another one of my dozens of summer plans.

smart, smart, smart, skinny, skinny, happy, happy, creative...
but i might have lost all that already.